Urban Ducks

[J. A. EARLY]

Three years ago I had sunflowers right across the road from my place. The power line runs right along the road, so I set up facing away from the road shooting onto my property.

I had killed maybe three or four, and had camo and a mask on so the doves would not shy away and would come into small-bore range. All of a sudden here came two state police cars with lights flashing, one stopping and one going down to my driveway in a blind curve, backing into the highway and pulling up so as to surround me. I stood up so they could see me hunting; one trooper had on full-body armor and the other in regular uniform.

It seems some well intentioned liberal hussy had called in to report a man standing on the bank of the highway in full camo with a "very large rifle." As I talked to the troopers who had interrupted my hunting a dove flew by so I raised the gun and fired at him. They asked who owned the land across the road, I answered I did. They asked if the people in the two adjacent houses cared if I hunted. I told them I owned the houses and they were rentals and I did not care what they thought. A few minutes later they were back in route to the college football game they were to cover, having been uselessly pulled off the interstate.