If they could only talk

[C.O.B.]

While Grouse hunting in Michigans Upper Penniusula recently I commented to my companions that I would love to able to carry on a conversation with the dog even if it was only for 20 min or so. In the case of some of them you do have to wonder what (if anything) goes on between their ears.

If I could talk to them I'd tell them first and formost that I love them unconditionally and will give them the best care thats possible. I would tell them that a bird cover doesn't need to be hunted in a hurry as we have plenty of time so slow down and smell the birds. Please don't chase the Deer, Rabbitts ect it's shows poor taste and you have better breeding than that.

I would ask them to hunt closer than 50yards out as the Grouse/Pheasant you have worked so hard to locate will be gone by the time I hear your beeper collar and get my tired old butt over to you.

When I see the dissapointment in your eyes at being left behind or kenneled after a short hunt it's nothing you did wrong it's just that I care about you and at 13 it's time to take a break even if you have the heart to go on I want to share more time with you and don't want to put you into a situation that I'll regret for the rest of my days.

I'd tell them that I will never hurt them intentionally so relax when I want to trim your toe nails. Its the spastic jerking of your feet that causes the nicks and therefore the yelps and the pain. Relax and enjoy the treat that comes afterward.

My one question for them would be "Why do you eat Poop"? It has to taste like Poop and I feed you good quality dog food.

I wonder what they would ask of me? Probably "Have you considered taking any shooting lessons"?

[Bill Murphy]

Rich, if you hunted with a Wirehair, you wouldn't have to ask any of those questions. They hunt close. At least one Wirehair, my Eva, works slow, Wirehairs don't feel pain, so you don't have to worry about toenail clipping or investing in a "collar", because Wirehairs can't feel the shock. Don't worry about the poop, just pick it up daily and they will lose interest. Wirehairs like it at least two days old. I'll send you a bill for my advice.

[Bill Murphy]

Oh, Rich, the shooting lessons. Eva has seen me make some astounding shots so I am way ahead on my apologies. She owes me at least six ridiculous misses before she can have a hissy fit. I just wish she has seen some of the shots I have made on Canadas. I will take her out on some goose hunts this year to show her what I can do with the big tens.

[Greg Miller CTGunLaw]

You have to wonder what dogs think of shoes. He is ready to go, and there I am trying to tie my shoes. His eyes tell the story; are you ready yet?

Then there are those nylabone chew toys. I really do not mean what I say when I step on one in the dark of the night, after he neatly places it for me at the bottom of the stairs. That is if I do not trip over him, as I come down the stairs.

And, he is tolerant of being called all sorts of names. Your dogs all have flowery names. Most of the time I just call ours Mr. Potato Head. Do not recall his true name. He seems perfectly happy with Potato Head.

Then there was the evening that two gentlemen in dark hooded sweatshirts came to the front door. I live in a quiet place, so I did not think much of it when there was a knock on the door late one night. I never will know what the young men with the masks wanted, as faster than I could think he made it from the warm fireplace across the room to the door and was four feet in the air when I caught him by the collar. He seemed very pleased with himself, and a poke around the property found no trace of them. I guess they left.

As to if they could talk. He of course does, it it just stupid me who sometimes does not understand. I guess I could ask my wife.

[Ben Yarian]

soooo much truth in this thread. so much.

[C.O.B.]

Bill, we scoop dah poop several times each day. Willie who is 10 will wait for a fresh dropping and run in. He even eats his own faster than I can get the shovel He can find a frozen turd under ten inches of snow but he is a wonderfull watch dog and can hear a pin drop from the other end of the house. We will never be surprised by unexpected guests with Wild Willie around.

[Dean Romig]

You guys should read (or re-read) Corey Ford's "A Dialogue For Autumn" where Corey and Cousin Sid along with Corey's setter, Cider and Sid's Bucky were sittin' around the fire, Corey and Sid having a discussion about the niceties and not-so-niceties of upland bird shooting and the idiosyncracies of their dogs. While Corey and Cousin Sid were having this discussion Cider and Bucky were having their own little chat about the shortcomings of their hunters. It is one funny story and showcases Corey's genius in humor.

[Richard Flanders]

I like the "poop" question. A dog runs along and finds every fox and coyote turd and for some reason just has to eat it. Biologically, I just can not see the gain in such behavior. And then of course, they want to come up and lick your face... Ask me sometime what I think of that!

[Blind Dog]

"If only they could talk"; my wife often makes that statement. I just smile at them and we let it go at that.

[Bruce Day]

I'm sure its very different than us.

Theirs is eat, eat, eat, birds, birds, birds, hump, hump, hump, sleep, sleep, sleep.