Actually, it is not too hard to do once the bird is in hand. As Dean stated, the unbroken tail band works most of the time. Also the length of the tail feathers-- if they are over 5 7/8" it is a cock bird--under 5 1/2 it is a hen--inbetween, well then look at the other characteristics. A cock generally also has an orange patch along the upper eyelid area.
The best way, is when cleaning the bird, look at the anatomy-- a cock bird will have 2 small bean shaped testes along its lower back, while a hen will have a light colored foamy looking area-the ovaries. I had the pleasure of hunting for years with a grouse biologist, and every grouse taken was a learning experiance.
As far as telling them apart on the wing, even this eye doctor cant prescribe glasses good enough to do that.
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