URGENT--Southern Blessing from The Vatican

[TOOL MAN]

A close friend and honey-baked, ham radio operator intercepted this broadcast from Rome early this morning. Apparently it was delivered by a Cardinal Stephano (Vatican Junior Varsity Squad--pictured below) subbing for His Holiness Pope Francis, who sources report is enjoying a two week “retreat” at Club Med , Paradise Island. My Latin is a bit rusty since Father Monan exiled me from Chestnut Hill back in ’83, but I’ll try my best. Here goes:

To all Parker competitors, officials, spectators, pundits and windbags:

You are about to embark upon the Great Crusade, as you prepare to battle the forces of Evil Elsie for the 12th consecutive year. The eyes of the double gun world are upon you.

Your task will not be an easy one. Your enemy is well trained and with the exception of their wrist- crackling sidelock, is fairly well equipped. They will fight savagely.

Whether you lose by one bird or many, or by some miracle of divine intervention, you eke out a “chip” of victory, we ask our heavenly Father above, that Elsie leaves just enough of you intact, to meet Fox Nation in the field of battle once again, on the sacred grounds of Hidden Hollow on June 4th and 5th.

We bestow upon you the blessings of Almighty God that your journey to Sanford is a safe and expeditious one, and look forward to breaking news from the beachhead as the Challenge unfolds. Godspeed Team Parker!

His Eminence,

Cardinal Stephano Michelangelo Cambria IV
Vatican Junior Varsity Squad (3-0) ----Roma, Italy

[Pa SxS]

You'll burn in hell for impersonating a Cardinal. I'm the only official Bishop of my flock (PGCA). Someday, you'll answer for your sins Hopefully you'll get your ticket punched to purgatory at Hausmann's.

[Bill Murphy]

Does this mean that Pastor Charlie Brooks will be dethroned from his position of "Religious Leader of the Southern Side by Side"? I will be on hand Sunday morning to see who prevails. As a fallen Catholic, I will side with Charlie if there is a choice.

[TOOL MAN]

Better be nice to the Cardinal , your eminence. Do you think that weather outside Harrisburg tonight is Heaven sent? Keep your head down, Mr. B.!!

[Pa SxS]

First time I've ever heard the emergency sirens go off for a tornado watch alert. The cell was tracking right along the I-81/US 22. That cell is now past but many more following behind. We don't get too many tornado's in this area due to the mountains to the west.

[Marc Retallack]

Glad to hear the rough stuff passed you by Chuck. When I saw the track of the storms, I was praying you guys wouldn't get hit with a twister. Somehow, we didn't even get a drop of rain 20 miles south of you.

Marcus

[Mike Franzen]

I for one will answer the call once again and take up my crusade to battle the adversary. Although I have never shot well enough to make the holy Parker team I willingly sacrifice my $15 to wear the Parker Pin. If you add up the numeric value of L C Smith and divide by one half bottle of Famous Grouse it equals 666

[Pa SxS]

Marc, check your PM's.

[TOOL MAN]

All Quiet on The Southern Front. Telegraph lines down? Sun Spot activity in/around Sanford? Only received two text messages all day. Must be a frenzy of activity. Perhaps this evening a few preliminary reports will trickle in. Hope it's warmer down in NC than here in the Nutmeg State. Considering lighting up the woodstove tonight for the season's final flicker. Hopefully more news at 11.

[Tom]

It's a beautifull day down here. I took quite a stroll around the tents and could not find the official Parker table. Is there one, maybe I walked right by it ?
Lots of really fine guns on display.
Tom