While Grouse hunting in Michigans Upper Penniusula recently I commented to my companions that I would love to able to carry on a conversation with the dog even if it was only for 20 min or so. In the case of some of them you do have to wonder what (if anything) goes on between their ears.
If I could talk to them I'd tell them first and formost that I love them unconditionally and will give them the best care thats possible. I would tell them that a bird cover doesn't need to be hunted in a hurry as we have plenty of time so slow down and smell the birds. Please don't chase the Deer, Rabbitts ect it's shows poor taste and you have better breeding than that.
I would ask them to hunt closer than 50yards out as the Grouse/Pheasant you have worked so hard to locate will be gone by the time I hear your beeper collar and get my tired old butt over to you.
When I see the dissapointment in your eyes at being left behind or kenneled after a short hunt it's nothing you did wrong it's just that I care about you and at 13 it's time to take a break even if you have the heart to go on I want to share more time with you and don't want to put you into a situation that I'll regret for the rest of my days.
I'd tell them that I will never hurt them intentionally so relax when I want to trim your toe nails. Its the spastic jerking of your feet that causes the nicks and therefore the yelps and the pain. Relax and enjoy the treat that comes afterward.
My one question for them would be "Why do you eat Poop"?
It has to taste like Poop and I feed you good quality dog food.
I wonder what they would ask of me? Probably "Have you considered taking any shooting lessons"?
If they could only talk
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