[TARNATION !!!]

Dear Mr. and Mrs. Romig,

I put pen to paper today in my earnest desire to help young Dean achieve his true potential. You most certainly know that his grades have been slipping. I would like to suggest that you consider a visit to your family doctor, with a view to having his vision and hearing tested. In the past few reading assignments, it is clear that he does not follow simple written instructions. For example, all students, with the exception of your son, read and followed the instruction to not use black ink in the new fine nibbed school stick pens. Young Dean merrily wrote away in black ink, only to cause the nib of his pen to clog, making his text illegible. That will explain the F given for this assignment. Only yesterday, I spoke to the class about the importance of listening to instructions. They were simple enough and the entire class understood them and followed them to the letter; that is, with the exception of your son. The class was told not to take any library books outside to read during recess, as we were expecting rain. Who should I find outside with a soggy book but your young Dean. While I commend his choice of literature, I fear that someday he may endanger himself or others through a growing inability to comprehend simple instructions. Principal F. Ullavit remarked, "Now there's a boy who one day will load smokeless into Damascus". I do not pretend to understand what that meant but his concerned expression did seem ominous. Please consider my suggestion for vision and hearing tests.

Yours truly,
Miss Pinster
Fourth grade marm.