Chris,

My condolences on the loss of your father and friend. I lost my father in 2009. What I can tell you is that his memories will always stay. Often times when I take my gun out for a country walk, my father is still there with me. I enjoy being with my spiritual dad even though his physical being is no longer with me. Keep the faith my friend. Your father was a good man and that is manifested in you.

When we hit middle age our parents die. My parents went within two days of exactly two years from one another.

My dad was a saint to me. Bright, talented, energetic, generous and a good hearted and honest man. He left a huge hole in the community and within our family when he died. Colon cancer. He had no idea he had it. He said to me, "I knew this was going to happen to me, but I didn't know it was going to happen this soon." He was only 76. In his final days we sang and laughed just like the old times. He loved music and had his own band of old guys who got lots of gigs, hired by other old guys.

When dad knew he was a goner, he got kind of excited, wanting to see what was on the other side. When he died he taught me a lot about life and how wonderful it is.

At first I was devistated, the loss of his presence was so great. Now it's been a dozen years and he has become a fond memory. The same will happen to you, but indeed those first few years are hard. A bit of valium helped me to feel better.

I'm sorry for your loss my friend.