Southern Boys With Guns

[Dennis V. Nix]

SOUTHERN BOYS W/GUNS

President Barack Obama was in the Oval
Office when his telephone rang."Hello, President Obama" a heavily accented southern voice said.
"This is Jimmy Boy, down here at Bump's
Catfish Shack, in Vicksburg , and I am callin' to tell ya'll that we are officially declaring war on y'all!"

"Well Jimmy Boy," Barack replied, "This is
indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Jimmy Boy, after a moments
calculation "there is myself, my cousin Tom, my next-door-neighbor and brother Gerald, and the
whole dart team from JD's Bait Shop. That
makes eight or maybe nine depending if Bump can close the store.

Barack paused. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy
that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."

"Wow," said Jimmy Boy. "I'll have to call ya
back!"

Sure enough, the next day, Jimmy Boy called
again. "Mr. Obama, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Jimmy
Boy?" Barack asked.

"Well sir, we have two combines, a bulldozer, and my brother Mike's farm tractor."

President Obama sighed. "I must tell you Jimmy Boy, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Lord above", said Jimmy Boy, "I'll be getting back to ya."

Sure enough, Jimmy Boy called again the next
day. "President Obama! I am sorry to have to tell you that we have had to call off this here war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Barack. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

Well, sir," said Jimmy Boy, "we've all sat
ourselves down and had a long chat over sweet tea, catfish, greens and pie and come to realize
that there's just no way we can feed that many prisoners."

[Rich Anderson]

:rotf::rotf::rotf:

[Bill Murphy]

Actually, what is the bigger Army, Obama's USA or the licensed hunters of Pennsylvania, Michigan, and Texas? Oh, heck, I'm in the database now. I guess I always was.

[Gary Carmichael Sr]

That was funny as heck! What Jimmy boy failed to remember is he could have captured all the one and one half million men, if he would only feed them some of his collard greens with fat back he could have caught them in the Latrine! Gary

[Rich Anderson]

I think Michigan has almost 1 million licensed deer hunters.

[Mills Morrison]

Could not resist. Hope you all enjoy. For the record, my ancestors made money off the war and one married a Puritan from Wallingford, CT, so I am not grinding any axes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ4u-BnVVJQ

[Greg Baehman]

I think Michigan has almost 1 million licensed deer hunters.
Actually, Michigan has about 1,005,000 licensed deer hunters---about 110,000 more than Wisconsin, but Wisconsin deer hunters killed 70,000 more deer than Michiganders . . .which proves we're more efficient hunters and better shots! :whistle:

[Rich Anderson]

I think were just more selective...less does and spikes.:rotf:

[John Dallas]

Apparently, there were about 700,000 firearm deer hunters last year. May have been many more archery and crossbow licenses sold.

http://absolutemichigan.com/michigan/roundup-opening-day-of-michigan-deer-hunting-season/

[CraigThompson]

Could not resist. Hope you all enjoy. For the record, my ancestors made money off the war and one married a Puritan from Wallingford, CT, so I am not grinding any axes

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ4u-BnVVJQ

I probably shouldn't say this but my maternal grandfathers grandfather , my great great grandfather was in the Union Army during the War for Secession . He got to Virginia became a turncoat and never went back to Maine !

He actually had a complete family up there if my memory of what my grandfather said about him is correct .

To be honest I'm not overly proud of having an ancestor that abandoned a family in Maine or that was a Damn Yankee but it is what it is .

I can say he was a steam engine man and my grandfather always told me when I had several running steam engines that it was passed down from him . As he had 3 or 4 working engines on "Old Rag Mountain" here in central Virginia . I know he had one Peerless Geiser traction engine and then a couple other portables . But as to make he didn't know . Old Rag is now part of the Shennendoah National Park .

He and I were close in brand as he evidently liked the Geiser engine from Waynesboro PA and I was a Frick engine man . For those unaware Frick was also made in Waynesboro PA .

It's my understanding Frick is still in buisness selling some sawmill equipment and if I'm not mistaken they got into refrigeration units I think like one would use in a skating rink .

[CraigThompson]

Actually, Michigan has about 1,005,000 licensed deer hunters---about 110,000 more than Wisconsin, but Wisconsin deer hunters killed 70,000 more deer than Michiganders . . .which proves we're more efficient hunters and better shots! :whistle:

The "rub" in the whole equation is the average number of deer killed per person . Which typically looks good .

But in a state like Virginia where a person can get ALOT of bonus tags etc . And then you figure the amount of hunters that "actually" killed deer the figures get skewed quite a bit . About 40% of the license holders actually kill all the deer . And generally of the 40 or so percent who actually tagged something about 1/10 of those were the major killers or harvestors .