[J. A. EARLY]

Hi Fred, this is Willie next door and I have a confession to make. I've been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to pluck up the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing the truth.

The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you're not around. In fact, probably more than you.
I haven't been getting it at home recently, but that's no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much.
I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won't happen again.
Please suggest a fee for usage, and I'll pay you.

Regards, Willie.


THE RESPONSE

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor, Willie, dead.
He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa.
He took out his phone where he saw he had a second message from his neighbor.

THE SECOND MESSAGE

Hi Fred,
This is Willie next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text.
I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed "wi-fi" to "wife" Darn Technology! I a m glad I read it again immediately after hitting the send button.