Quote:
Originally Posted by Michael Moffa
This is a recollection of a conversation that happened at the Southern HOF dinner. I actually have to thank Mr A. Wheaton for setting the flag in the ground for the his answer to my question answer of his question of how many Parkers I had. He said he had "a lot," I asked him how many in "a lot," he said about 200. The reason that I have to thank him is that my Pretty Wife was sitting between us and now considers that I have about 175 to go to get to "a lot," that she will let me get a few more.
How does this refer back to the subject of this thread, well let me put it this way, if one has the patience one will get "a lot" of Parkers.
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Love it. "A lot" is a great loose and respective description. A lot to someone could mean only a little to someone else. Essentially it is really an undefinable metric.
Remember years ago my first trip to NYC. Went to Carnegie Deli to get a bagle with cream cheese for breakfast. Being from the South and a grit eater was not really accustomed to bagles and cream cheese nor hash browns for breakfast, but when in Rome, so I went with it.
Waiting in line to place my order similar to the Soup Nazi scene from Seinfeld crossed with placing an order at the Varsity in downtown Atlanta so when its my turn I order a simple bagle with cream cheese. The fella asks me how much cream cheese, like I did not know I had a choice. He asks again how much and I am clearly stumped and adds do you want a little or a lot. So I ask how much is " a little" and how much is "a lot".
He does not define or even take time to describe he just loudly sounding exasperated yells back to me do you want a little or a lot. Clearly I now have everyones in the store looking at me and this interactive scene. So I try and diffuse explain, "hey I'm not from around here and this is my first time here so can you show me what is " a little" as compared to "a lot". He just blinks once or twice and yells at me again do you want " a little or a lot". Faced with this challenge and point of no return discussion in my most clearly laid out over exaggerated southern redneck tone I could muster, I replied "Give me the damn lot" and everyone in the store cheered.
Then he asked me if wanted the bagle toasted. I replied whatever you recommend and he yells "toasted or untoasted". I yell back "toast the shee-it", and the crowd chuckles. I look back and fella behind me is shaking his head and laughing. I am thinking man have I stepped into it now.
So the fella makes the bagle and I am watching to make sure he does not do something weird but I don't know what or really notice how much cream cheese he puts on it. He quickly and efficiently wraps it up puts into a bag and I go and pay for it he has this shit eating chuckling grin on his face similar to a dog I once had that would like to roll in anything rotten and then want to come and rub on my leg wanting me to pet him. At this point I am wondering if I should even eat this thing.
I go outside and unwrap the bagle and there must have been two inches of solid cream cheese in between the bagle halves. I thought there is no way this is right, this guy is messing with me. I mean my heart almost locked up looking at all that cream cheese. I mean this really had to be a joke and my wife told me, maybe you should not of told him where you came from. Anyway so I am suspiciously eating this thing and trying to choke it down thinking the whole time this guy is laughing his ass off telling people how he punked a redneck with cream cheese. That is until I noticed a few other people walking out with bagles and cream cheese and they had just as much or even more on their bagles then I did and from all appearances seemed to be native New Yorkers. I was clearly baffled.
So the remainder of my time there and every time I meet someone from New York I ask them how much is " a little or a lot of cream cheese" to them and answers vary.