It seems harder to let them go
 

We had to have our Cedar put to sleep last week after her year long fight with cancer. I had desperately hoped to be able to hunt over her again at least one time this coming season. She had surgery last year to remove a melanoma growth in her mouth that took part of her upper jaw and hard palette. Elaine nursed her for a couple of months, and Cedar, wearing her protective collar, enjoyed going on all our hunting trips with us. She took not being able to hunt in stride.

She was, as all are and have been, a one-of-a-kind personality. Elaine and I often joked that she might have had Asperger Syndrome as she avoided being touched and would go off by herself to peer out into the distance, hoping to see a bird or squirrel. But in her last hours struggling to breath wth cancer in her lungs, she climbed into my lap wanting me to help her. I hope I did.

In her last days she loved to sit at the window upstairs and gaze out over the yard, and she loved to go to breakfast with us, sitting in the back seat and watching birds out of the window.

I know from reading my colleagues posts that there are many on this forum that understand firsthand a hunter's bond with his dog. There is nothing like it, and there was nothing quite like Cedar. In my perhaps misguided perception of the after life, I believe she is hunting with her buddy, Peat, who died in October. They were a pair, and they loved each other dearly. It's a comforting thought to believe that all of our dogs when they pass have a place to go to wait for us -- a place that has birds, wonderful weather, no thorns, and a warm bed at end of day.

Garry, that was heart-rending and one of the sweetest dog eulogies I have ever read. I am truly sorry for your loss.

I surely hope I’ll never have to write something like this for my girl Grace. But I hope she goes before I do because I can’t imagine her anguish when I go and she forever wonders why I left her.

I hope time makes it better for you.





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Garry
Sorry for your loss. Your written words express the love you have for Cedar like few could. They also make me think about how lucky I am. There is a 64 lb. English Setter stretched across my lap right now. Buzzy could be on the couch or the two dog beds here in the den but he’s where he wants to be.
More often it seems theses days learn of the passing of another friend or family member and I always pray that heaven is all they hoped it to be. Misguided or not I too believe.

Thanks, Dean and Brett. Hold them close.

Oh Garry, so, so sorry for your loss of a best friend. It is so soon after my own loss that I know the anguish that accompanies the passing of a true friend and partner. Take care.

Thank you, Gary. I thought about you over the past days after reading of your own loss. I wish there was more to do to make things better. Elaine and I feel so empty. Our two remaining Gordons, Alder and Aspen, have been noticeably upset, especially Alder, who was like Cedar's little sister for 8 years. I'm so glad we have them to help us. I'm sure you understand this, too.

Sorry to hear the news . . . We still miss our black lab Gator two years after his passing. A new dog heals the wounds, but not completely

Mills, I enjoyed reading about Gator in your book. Your writing made clear the wonderful relationship he had with your family.

Thank you Garry. Sherwood is a great dog too, although very different personalities.

I'm very sorry for your loss, it's a very touching post, having been through this myself, you have my deepest sympathy.
Take care
Tim